Friday, September 7, 2007

Reunion Psyche






Why do we go to high school reunions?

Simple. We love seeing how old everyone else looks and "catching up" with your classmates.

For guys, it takes about 5-7 minutes to catch up with another guy you haven't seen for 30 years. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: "Bob?"

Bob: "Jeff?"

Me: "You look the same!" (Lie. He looks like he's been run over by a herd of yaks)

Bob: "You too..." (Lie. He thinks I look like I have been run over by a herd of yaks, TWICE!)

Me: "Whatchubeenupto?"

Bob: "Divorced three times, jail once, retired from Chevron and livin' large in Ely, Nevada, you?"

Me: "Ah, married for 27 years, 5 kids, couple of grandkids, still work in real estate, and well, you know..."

Bob: "Yeah, yeah...Hey, you hear Joe passed away?"

Me: "Yeah, yeah, I did... but you know, nude parachute jumping has its risks..."

Bob: "Yeah, yeah...

Me: "Yeah...well...(long pause) How 'bout those Giants this year?"

This ritual is repeated 10 to 15 times with other classmates.

The final portion of the reunion consists of watching the old high school clicks reunite, the aging cheerleaders squealing like they are 16 again, and the former jocks getting drunk.

You finally leave the reunion marveling at how mother nature has hammered your classmates and feel satisfied that you can easily go another 10 or 20 years before you ever see them again.

As you exit, however, you think you overhear someone say, "Wow, HE sure looks old!"