Doggone it...

Well, I knew it...the puppy training, discipline, and clean up has fallen upon me as expected...

Pooper scooper technology has improved since Zoey, our families first dog (who was inherited by my business associate, Paul, after Alex was born). So the stinkin' task is not as distasteful as the old days of sliding the "post-production kibble" into a dustpan on a stick.

The latest version of Poopscooping technology is the "Jaws of Death" where you squeeze the handle and the two opposing "jaws" open wide allowing you to surround, and upon releasing the handle, deftly snatch those offending lawn nuggets.

Which brings me to a fundamental social dilemma...Doggy-doo etiquette.

I am a neophyte dog walker. However, I have observed over the years a variety of dog owners and the manner in which they handle their dog's business. There are several types:

Type 1: The Conscientious dogwalker. He/she carries a variety of socially responsible, biodegradable, and earth friendly poop collectors and is quick to pick up his charge's dump at any time and any place. All their dogs are anal retentive.

Type 2: The Clueless dogwalker. He/she rarely leashes their dog. They just take their pet on a "walk" as an excuse to get out of the house and smoke a cigarette. They don't even know their beloved pooch just poached on your newly sodded lawn. If they do, they just shrug their shoulders and give you a look that says, "You should be glad my Bull Mastiff didn't tear your leg off...oh, and have a nice day!"

Type 3: The Charlatan dogwalker. He/she walks with the basic of dog doo disposal tools, the white plastic grocery bag clearly in sight of anyone who should observe said dogwalker. Secure in the knowledge that should their mutt "manure-mine" the property of a neighbor, if it is unobserved by anyone, stays put, smoldering on the grass, subscribing to the philosophy of, "If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it really make a sound?". If, however, they are within visual proximity of anyone, they become a concerned and responsible dog owner and grab up the goodies using their remedial retrieval system with a Pharisaic smugness that shouts out..."Look at the righteous dog owner!".

What category do I fall into? Let's just say that the lack of light that the early morning provides is an added benefit when I walk the puppy with my plastic Safeway bag...

Lost your puppy? Call the Doggone department.

Reply All...

There are a number of things in life that provide immediate humiliation.

A noisy, uncontrolled fart in a quiet, yet crowded, elevator.

Shutting your locked car door, only to notice at the very last moment, that your keys are still snuggly in the ignition.

Accidently using the "Reply All" in a very personal, private e-mail.

My wife, Margo, is the principal of an elementary school. During the spring break she received an e-mail from a School District colleague requesting that she contact a student's mother regarding some special education issues.

Now, Margo is probably the kindest, sweetest person on the face of the earth. She is always polite and professional in all her dealings with both parents and staff. However, on this particular e-mail she decided to take a candid and harsh approach in detailing her experiences with this particular mother. She recounted numerous meetings with the mother that led her to believe that not only the child but the mother herself was "special ed". It was a scathing indictment of an overly aggressive and difficult mother.

When Margo was about to e-mail her reply to the District colleague and a District Administrator she decided to use, Reply All. Unfortunately, the originator of the email from the district had Carbon Copied or "CC"'d the mother who was the subject of the email.

So, she too, got Margo's e-mail reply.

Technology's version of Instant Karma...

The offended mother fired off her own e-mail to Margo describing how upset she was about the e-mail. Margo offered a sincere and humble apology.

Suggestion to all ISP's who have e-mail: Please have an "are you sure you want to send this e-mail to All?" (similar to when you are deleting a file). Or perhaps more importantly the disclaimer: "Are you sure this e-mail isn't going to someone you don't want it to go to, isn't going to start a world war, or isn't going to PerezHilton.com?"

Unlike a crowded elevator, it is tough to blame someone else...