When I was in High School back in the late 60's and early 70's things were not much different than today with regard to the group, or category you identified with or were put into through no choice of your own. We had the Hippies, the Hoods, the Smacks (Bookworms, Nerds, etc.), the Rah-Rahs, the Jocks and the Bandroom geeks.
The scariest people were the Hoods. The guys wore leather jackets and you knew they must be carrying a switchblade. The girls had "ratted" hair and chewed gum with their mouth open. The danger that existed was that you might get socked in the mouth by an irate Hood but it would rarely be an unprovoked attack, you would have to do something to cross them, although that wouldn't take much...like standing in line in front of them during lunch.
The hoods of today are now called "gangstas" and are much more easily provoked. They are also much better armed. A sideways glance is all it takes to motivate today's gangsta into firing their handguns at you. Yet one constant exists among all juvenile delinquents and bad guys... their inability to shoot straight!
I have a unique solution for this problem which I wrote about in another blog about a year ago:
Since many of the drive by shootings result in the wounding of innocent bystanders, children playing in their yards, and even people a block away, I have a simple proposal.
My proposal would be: Let's teach the gang bangers how to SHOOT STRAIGHT!
Have you ever seen how these young punks shoot a gun? They hold the gun sideways and randomly squeeze round after round while bobbing their head up and down to the sound track of some rap song. They inevitably miss their intended targets with 99% of those rounds. They have a worse shooting percentage than the New York Knicks!
How the heck can you hit your intended target with that lame shooting method? Where did they learn to shoot that way in the first place? Gangsta Training Camp?
Since most of the intended targets are rival gang bangers, drug dealers, and basic evil-doers let's just teach them how to hit their target. The more accurate they are, the less innocents are shot by the stray bullets.
I propose we open a school for "aim-challenged" gangsters. We could probably even get Federal funding for it.
I would call it:
The School for Challenged Urban Marauders, Bangers And Gangsters ( SCUMBAG).
Instead of hiring more cops, let's fund this and let them kill each other off!
7 comments:
Ha... totally!!! I can't even imagine what it would look like to see a gangster, take a knee, steady his aim, hold the gun correctly and off someone. I'd vote for it!!
It doesn't matter. Shooting handguns is extremely difficult and pretty inaccurate for anything beyond 15 yards (yes, that close). If the gangstas really want to kill the rah-rahs, the who-haws, and the other oddly-named groups from your high school, they'll need rifles.
Bill,
Machine gun training, AK-47 usage, and Automatic weapon classes are all upper-division AP courses.
Hi Jeff. Are the bad guys going to use each other as target practice? That would get rid of them nicely.
So I used our little Sacrament meeting distraction in my blog today. You can see it at groundhogdaywithceliafae.blogspot.com. I linked you. I hope that is okay.
Jeff MOlson, you are a MOniac. I hope you can get some work done today. You crack me up.
Do the Gangstas get to practice shooting while driving cars? Do they have to run away after the shooting?
Jeff you are so funny. I read your comments on Celia's blog and was laughing so hard. I like your reunion blog. good question why do we like going to these things and seeing people we won't see for another 10 years and who cares what they are up to, okay maybe I care about a few of them.
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